Running In Dramatic Motion

I felt silly. I knew that what I was doing was better for me overall, but I felt like I was a high-stepper. It didn’t feel “natural”. I felt like I was prancing, although seriously, how does one prance on a treadmill?

So I tried the new stride, the forward running and no heel-striking thing. I got nothing for time and distance but my ankle didn’t hurt! I mean, it ached a little when I switched to walking but I think that had more to do with my lack of stretching (sorry, Bean, gotta stretch a little first) than my stride. So even though I think I only actually ran about seven minutes total, and no more than three minutes consecutively, I still color today a success.

I like my goal for this week. I’m starting to come out of that funk that plagued me all last week, and instead of comparing myself to myself, or anyone else, I’m approaching each day and each week for what it is; a new chance. Everyday I get up and go and run is a day that I chose to move instead of not.

I can’t look at how well I did last week, or even the day before, and expect to always do that well (or better) every time I run or I’m just going to set myself up for disappointment. And frankly, I’m too new at this business of running to let myself get disappointed with my performance. I’m not good at it yet; I’m not saying that because I think I suck, I’m saying that because I really am not good at it yet. But I WILL be. That’s why I’m doing this- one day, I WILL be good at it, and THEN I can have expectations of myself.

Right now I’m good at getting up and making myself go. I’m good at tying my laces and getting on that treadmill and moving my ass. And if I do that enough times, and keep at it, I will be a good runner. Not good in comparison to anyone else, but good enough for me. This is MY race, not anyone else’s, and the only person who can defeat me is me.

So high-stepping or whatever, as goofy as it might look, as much as I might sweat and moan and flop all over the place, I’m doing it, I really am, and right now, that is good enough.