Recap

I haven’t been writing here for two reasons; one, I’ve been busy. It’s winding down til Christmas, and I’ve been doing a lot in preparation for that. And two, I’ve been really frustrated with my training. Lemme ‘splain…

Last Saturday, the twelfth, I woke up a lot later than I usually do. The Man and I had a ton to do that day, and company coming over, so I put the kibosh on working out. I even had a cocktail at lunch, so sure was I that I would not be going to they gym. Well, late that afternoon I decided to NOT skip my workout, and went. It was a mistake- I really shouldn’t have gone. I performed terribly, and felt mad at myself for a)said performance and b)for going at all! I decided that I would skip Sunday and hit it again on Monday.

Monday came, and I went. I had a hard time getting my head into it, so disheartened was I by my poor prior performance on Saturday. Understand that up until Saturday, I had met every goal I’d set for myself, and in a lot cases, smashed it! So to do so badly really caused a lot of distress for me. This whole journey is one made up mostly of will power, and this one bad day was playing hell on my positive thinking. I am prone to not believing in myself, for being my own worst critic, and it’s hard to come out of that dark internal place.

I determined that I would return on Tuesday, and DO. IT.

And do it I did. I had my best run to date on Tuesday, ran the longest and fastest I had ever run, and felt incredible, physically. I was proud of myself, and thought that I had overcome that little hiccup of negativity. I thought that I would continue to do as well, if not better, than I had on this day.

I was wrong.

Wednesday I went. I didn’t perform as well as I had hoped, but still, I ran 13.5 minutes, total. Not a fail! Not a suckday, like Saturday! Yet I felt like I had let myself off easy. Even though when I was doing it, I felt sore and tired and my body just couldn’t do it, I really felt I had pushed it as far as I could without hurting myself… I still felt like I had let myself quit. I was disheartened. And Wednesday is also the day that my ankle really started hurting.

I skipped Thursday. I decided to give myself a mental day, to rest my ankle, to get back into the proper mindset. I really felt that I was getting my head back into the groove, and I felt excited to go to the gym the following day. I felt ready to roll. I felt like I was back on track internally.

Friday dawned, and I went. I got in 1 mile and twenty minutes with about six minutes of running. My ankle was so sore and painful, I was limping when I started walking, so again I cut it short. I begin to wonder if running is for me.

Then, today. I went because I really want to get five days a week in, and I had skipped Thursday, and frankly, after yesterday, I was anxious to get over this hump and DO IT. My ankle felt fine, and I started off strong. Good motion, good breathing. I was flying. I ran six minutes straight, then started walking, and PAIN. I did a few more minutes then got off to stretch, because this had worked before, and when I got back on, it helped but after I got rolling again, PAIN.

Dammit. I cut my workout short AGAIN. I limped back to the locker room and just sat there and evaluated what to do next. Is it the shoes? Is it my  excess weight? Is it my stride? WHAT? I want to do this, dammit!

I came home and logged onto my dailymile and saw that Shanna had posted this video. I watched it, and realized that I might be excessively heel-striking, and that is causing the ankle to hurt. I’m going to really have to be cognizant of my stride this next week, and see if that helps.

Next Monday starts Week Four of Training. I was going to make my goal for that week to run a straight eight minutes every time, but I think my goal is going to be less about time and more about correct running form. I’m going to focus on how I’m running and see if that takes care of the ankle pain.

And I’m going to write on my blog more, too. I find that when I do, I feel more motivated to run. Keeps me in the proper mindset :)